I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
