it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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