"it" just moved
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Randomize
