Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
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