thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
