He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
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we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
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I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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