why didn't you poke me back
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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