Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
