Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
