Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
