Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
