I'm drive I can fine osifer
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
