She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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