Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
