I want to stick my p in your. b.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
