You're so nebulous sometimes
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Randomize
