Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
