i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Randomize
