Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
