im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize