Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
