but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
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