My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
its liver damage thursday
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
