Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
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