I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
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