whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
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