she woke up with a sticky ear
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
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