i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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