i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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