Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Randomize
