the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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