I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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