And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
