If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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