new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
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