Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
