and you said cock pushups were impossible
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
