wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
