The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
