My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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