We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
