is your mom at the bar?
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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