Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
