just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
She's just so happy...and so naked.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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