I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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