He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
