it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
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