My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
