You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Randomize
