I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
