can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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