Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I licked your asshole in confidence.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
