She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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