I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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