we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize