could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
