I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
