He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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