I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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