Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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