I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
