I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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