"it" just moved
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
